Of Cages and Murder Attempts
by lilybirds
Summary: The first thing Kurt did was scream, because - that was usually his way of dealing with terrifying things like this. Just keep screaming until a personal slave comes along and takes care of it.


**First time ever uploading a Glee one. I don't know if I should be excited or just scared shitless.**

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Kurt was not having that much of a great day, to be quite honest. Not only had he been stuck in the most boring - yet incredibly challenging - classes all day, after dinner he had also been forced to go to Warblers practice and even though they sounded fabulous as a group, he just wasn't sure yet whether to feel honored or just horribly depressed. Of course it had been quite pleasant to see Blaine at practice since he wasn't there at dinner - but staring at him without it getting noticed was a bit of a task since he sometimes felt like drool was literally streaming from his mouth like the Niagara Falls and so: at the end of the day he was just emotionally and physically exhausted.

So here he was, alone in his dorm because his roommate Hanson Goldberg was off with his girlfriend and Kurt was relieved to finally have some space to breathe. Hanson was one of these rich guys, just like pretty much all the other students at Dalton and even though, yes - no bullying policy, everyone is the same, blah blah, Kurt wasn't the richest of rich and that made things definitely awkward in his opinion. Also Hanson had the strange habit of telling uninteresting things to Kurt, with the exact same line and with a flick of his hand every day. "It's SUCH a funny story!" But Hanson wasn't gay, at least that's what he kept saying whenever Kurt entered their room and found him with a facial mask on and said face stuck in Seventeen magazine. Yeah, the gaydar was going off but Kurt kept quiet because, you know, Hanson could just be very bi-curious.

Blaine was amazing, that was for sure. But he was still a student at Dalton, meaning that his hair was perfectly slicked back and there were no wrinkles in his uniform and that hitting a note wrong pretty much equaled getting mentally whipped. He tutored about a thousand students in English, French, Spanish, History - basically everything and Kurt was sure the older boy was flawless. Which, of course, made things even worse.

At times he really did feel like being bullied by a certain Dave Karofsky was a much better option than being caged like an over-sized Pavarotti, stripped off his creativity and being just a face in an over-full corridor instead of a person, a being. New Directions went on without him and it stung a bit, but he really couldn't blame them. McKinley was so flawed compared to Dalton. And Kurt really wasn't sure why he suddenly felt so choked by perfection when it used to be all he wanted.

So here was Kurt, unpacking the last boxes with his stuff - wondering why it took him so long, it was so uncharacteristic of him to wait. Telling himself it was because of Dalton - because of all the stuff that had happened the past week and not because he was changing already, he put the latest issues of Vogue on the bookshelf next to his undersized desk and sighed. Pavarotti chirped pathetically from the night-table and Kurt threw the bird a mere look before returning to what he was doing. His finger lingered on the binding for a long second before he stepped away and went to throw away the old cardboard box.

Yeah, things weren't all that amazing at the moment and especially when Kurt was halfway the empty corridor to get rid of the ugly cardboard in his hands, it basically got even worse. You see, Kurt had been afraid of spiders ever since he was young. No particular reason apart from the fact that he found them disgusting and that once, a long time ago, in the middle of the night a spider had fallen from the ceiling - right onto his pillow. Yeah, it left a mark definitely.

So imagine his horror when suddenly the biggest spider he had ever seen in his entire life, crawled up his right hand. At first Kurt was just stunned to see this huge black - even a bit hairy- spider on his own flawless hand. What was that? What was it doing there? _Why are you there_? But then when Kurt finally realized what it _WAS_ and what it was _DOING _there, things really suddenly got a bit crappy.

The first thing Kurt did was scream, because - that was usually his way of dealing with spiders and scary things. Just keep screaming until a personal slave comes along and takes care of it. So that's what he did. But then he realized it was Friday night and pretty much the entire hall was empty so there was no one to actually come along and whack the shit out of this spider and also - said spider was slowly crawling up his hand towards his Dalton blazer's sleeve.

So the only other option he had was to shake his hand until the spider would fall off and hopefully kill himself in the process. Yeah, that was a good plan.

It really wasn't a good plan. This was one of the weirdest spiders Kurt had ever encountered. It wouldn't get off his hand. It just wouldn't let go no matter how hard he swept back and forth like he was in the Single Ladies video minus the hips and the leotard and he really was starting to panic now as it crept forward. "Let-go-you-evil-" He shrieked so high it would make Rachel Berry proud but still the spider wouldn't budge.

"Kurt?" And there was the personal _slave oh thank the lords he was saved but_, **oh**. It was Blaine. "B-Blaine!" Kurt managed to squeak still waving his hand back and forth and Blaine misinterpreted the gesture as an actual wave. He returned a little one of his own, hesitantly and the confused but a bit worried look on his face said enough. "Are you OK?"

"Oh my god, GET. OFF." Kurt screamed when the spider suddenly moved and crawled up his Dalton sleeve and Blaine hurried towards him, obviously still puzzled but now curious and Kurt almost marveled when he noticed Blaine's curls were actually no longer slicked back like they always were, but then he realized that there was a murderous animal trying to kill him and then eat his intestines so that kind of ruined the mood.

"Spider! _Blaine_! It won't get _off_! Oh my_ God_!" Kurt held out his arm, pale-faced and trembling with pure terror. "All right, calm down," Blaine tried, a bit fervently and eyed the moving spider, worried over how much distress it was causing Kurt. "Don't move." Kurt stilled immediately, eyes wide and he only just managed to hold in another squeak.

Blaine reached over and - just like _that_ plucked the spider off his arm and set it down on the ground. Like a little rat, it hurried off to the opposite direction and then there was silence. "I thought someone was trying to kill you," Blaine sighed, relieved and Kurt slowly stopped shaking. "You were screaming like you were about to die."

"Well I might as well have been!" Kurt cried, shrilly. "Did you _see _that? It was – oh my _God_, it was trying to _kill_ me! I could _see_ it in its eyes! Thanks.. thanks, Blaine. For saving me."

Blaine paused for only a second to eye him a bit wearily and then threw him a wide beaming smile, his eyes lighting up and for a second Kurt wondered whether he did it on purpose, maybe secretly he was just a closeted Edward Cullen ready to dazzle - but then Kurt realized closets really weren't Blaine's thing and that Edward Cullen was a huge douche, so he threw the idea out of the window and _oh my gosh_, he was _rambling_ while Blaine was _talking_ - "It looks like you need it."

Kurt fought down the blush as he spluttered out a dazzled 'what?' and Blaine threw him this sweet smile. "Coffee? I asked you if you wanted to get some late-night coffee with me? You know if you'd rather go back to-"

"I'd love to. Let's go right now." Kurt cut him off, quite loudly too (somehow he always lost control of his vocal chords with Blaine; how had he even hit all those notes in Baby, It's Cold Outside?). They just smiled at each other and before Kurt could even realize what happened, Blaine had grabbed his hand like he had done that first day at Dalton and pulled him along through the halls, past one certain murderous spider.

But Kurt really couldn't care less about that last bit, right now.

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**xo.**


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